Listen if you want to be heard
“Listening is a powerful act: you have to put yourself out to do it.” David Hockney
Want your message to be heard? Start by listening. Here’s why, and how to do it well.
Why listen?
Organisations that truly connect with people put those they serve at the centre of all they do. How do you do that? By reaching out to your clients / customers and other stakeholders; asking them the right questions and listening hard to what they say.
This listening/client feedback process has long been at the heart of my approach. Whether I’m helping a client set future direction, find their story or work out what content will be truly valuable, collecting outside feedback is the lynch pin that holds it all together. It’s invariably listening to clients and customers which provides the insight that’s sparked the best ideas, on any coaching or consultancy project that comes in.
Marketers and strategists too often go into a huddle in a boardroom to work out the next steps. But that invariably leads to strategies that are internally focussed, based on assumption. If you want a more 360 approach, seek feedback and bring this evidence into the room too.
Get out there, ask good questions and listen really hard.
How I woke up to the power of listening
My mum Caroline was a psychotherapist. She undoubtedly saved lives and transformed many others. With the quality of her listening in mind, it’s no wonder she was good at what she did. She always knew how to ask the right questions and tuned in with total attention, empathy and compassion. She made people feel respected and good about themselves. She got to the heart of the issue. And made us her children feel understood. That’s an incredible legacy.
It’s a rare skill in the business realm. I was lucky: change expert, Jane Northcote, opened my eyes to the value of listening early in my career. I worked as business development lead in a niche management consultancy business. We were looking to sharpen up our brand positioning. ‘Start with what works now’, said Jane. ‘Let’s ask clients’. So we did.
The outcome of this first listening project was transformational. The feedback showed us exactly what people appreciated, where the real opportunity lay for the business, and gave us better language to describe what we did. The direction and message for the consultancy became clear.
Jane taught me the power and art of listening in business. I’m incredibly grateful for her teaching. Listening has been a core part of my process ever since.
“To act with awareness you have to be connected. You have to be there, with people. Don’t just listen, hear; don’t just watch, see. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Let the answers have an effect.” Jane Northcote, Making Change Happen
Where and when to listen
Listening is an undervalued act in the business realm. Here’s where I’ve found listening to be invaluable.
For brand strategy
The absolute business fundamentals. Where does your true value lie? Talking to a range of your customers/stakeholders about why, how and where they use you can help you get your offer and positioning straight.
For story
How do you tell the story of what you do? What’s your business purpose? That might feel like it has to come from you – it’s your story, right? But if it’s not grounded in your customer’s world too, it won’t resonate with them. Self-absorbed stories don’t win any fans. Listen hard to the challenges your customers are facing, and weave those into your story, so it feels relevant.
“Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room.” Jeff Bezos
Your story is out there. Just ask your customers and other advocates who recommending you to others. What story are they telling? How do they describe who you are and the reason you exist? You’ll be amazed at what you hear - people on the outside often tell your story far better.
For language and tone of voice
Tone of voice can feel slippery, but a warm, engaging one shapes how your brand is perceived. So how do you choose the right words for an email or a homepage? Again, listening to your customers is the key.
Good, clear language is key, but to truly connect, use their words. Ditch jargon, cut internal-speak, and reflect how they talk. Go deeper by recording conversations, spotting patterns, and mirroring their metaphors. That kind of information is marketing gold dust.
For service and product design
Too many products and services are developed based on assumption. Listening and research are vital to ensuring the solutions you create solve real problems and genuinely meet user needs. That’s where disciplines like UX and content design come in: crucial for creating useful, usable experiences. Without deep listening and careful research, businesses risk poor design, wasted time and effort, and missed opportunities.
For content and marketing ideas
The very best content and marketing ideas will come from listening to your audience - a catalyst for your own creativity. What do they want to hear from you? Answering their questions will give you blog, video and podcast ideas for the rest of the year and beyond.
To support change
Business never stands still. Listening supports strategic change. If you build listening into your business activities you’ll be ahead of the curve when it comes to meeting changing needs - inside and outside the organisation. Ask questions that delve deeper than a straightforward ‘how are we doing?’ into ‘describe the challenges in your world.’
It means you’ll have the evidence you need to change the way you do things or what you offer. Listening can de-risk change. It means a change of direction won’t be a stab in the dark, rather a response to your customers’ guiding lights.
For alignment
Listening to people inside your organisation will flush out good ideas and help to bring people on the journey with you. Because you’ve listened, they feel heard.
(Read: Engagement - the secret to any successful rebrand)
For humanity
Imagine how the world would be if we listened, truly listened, to each other more?
“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.” Carl R. Rogers
Feel the fear and listen anyway
I’ve led this listening process for many business and not-for-profits small and large over the years. The feedback they receive has been consistently constructive and insightful. Those who act on it strengthen relationships, improve their work, and gain real clarity and confidence.
But reaching out for feedback can feel scary and exposing. You won’t be alone if you’re feeling that. I’d encourage you to be bold. Feel the fear and do it anyway. This listening and feedback is a gift, and a welcome boost for everyone.
How to listen - my process
I’ve honed a simple customer feedback process over the years. Here it is, in a nutshell.
Select a range of your best customers/clients/contacts. One call is better than no calls, but you also don’t want too many. A couple of examples: for a small business using customer feedback to help rewrite their business story, aim for between 5 and 10 interviews. For large organisations using customer feedback to inform strategic decisions aim for 15 to 30 conversations across a wide range of your stakeholders.
Create a list of open-ended questions that meet your goals. You’re listening to understand their world, their challenges and how they see your value. Make them broader than a simple, ‘tell us how we’re doing.’
Decide whether you want to do the calls yourself, or need third party help. I’ve done it both ways, and both are valid, but often it can be easier for someone outside your business to ask searching questions on your behalf. It’s easier for people to answer honestly if they’re talking to an experienced independent listener. And far easier for someone impartial outside your organisation to hear and analyse what’s being said.
Set up a time for the phone call via email. Explain what you’re doing, how it works and why.
Ask good questions and listen really hard. There’s a real art to good listening (see below).
Record the call and transcribe it, verbatim. There are lots of recording options. Always ask for permission. You want the exact words, all of them. Your customers’ real words are infinitely more valuable than marketing persona guess work.
What to do with what you hear
So what do you do with the output of this listening? As you’ll have heard above, it can be useful in so many ways, from helping to shape your strategic business direction to writing your story and marketing plan.
Look for the patterns in the insight you’ve gathered. What does this tell you about the value your organisation delivers? How do others describe who you are and what you do? Where does your real sweetspot lie?
(NB: Careful with AI analysis here. AI tools can help in the process but I’ve found they miss the golden nuggets of insight you need.)
How to listen well
Why is listening so hard? One reason is down to human biology. Our brains process information much faster than people speak. While most people talk at around 150 words per minute (wpm), we can listen at 275 wpm and think even faster at 2,000 wpm. This gap between speed of talking and thinking leads to boredom and distraction whilst listening: our minds wander to other thoughts, like what to say next or unrelated tasks. As a result, we miss important details. And the person we’re talking to will likely notice our lack of attention.
Add these facts to the reality of today’s distracted, attention poor, dopamine addicted world and no wonder listening is so hard for people. So how do you listen well?
“When we let go of our opinions and views - when we create space - then what others say can truly penetrate. So please empty yourself when you listen. That’s the art of deep listening.” Thich Nhat Hanh
Real listening isn’t just hearing words. It’s setting aside judgment, quieting your own thoughts, and giving your full attention.
“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Stephen R. Covey
Try listening without planning a response. Instead of reacting or resisting, notice your internal responses and let them pass. Be present, breathe, and create space for the other person’s words to land.
“One listens and therefore learns, only in a state of attention, a state of silence, in which this whole background is in abeyance, is quiet. Then, it seems to me, it is possible to communicate. Real communication can only take place where there is silence.” Krishnamurti
True listening happens without interruption, where understanding, not agreement, is the goal. When we listen with empathy and openness, we invite connection. And in that space, transformation happens: real insight arises from here.
Some watchouts when listening:
Keep your focus on the speaker; don’t shift the focus onto yourself. Let the other person share their thoughts without hijacking the conversation.
Be aware of what makes you interrupt or redirect the conversation. Is it excitement? Ego? A desire to offer advice? Even positive intentions can make you dominate the conversation. Let the speaker have their say.
Don’t just listen with your ears; listen with your eyes (yes, even on Zoom). Use your whole body to show you’re engaged. Give the speaker your full attention. Never-multi-task! Slow down, focus and truly listen if you want to make others feel truly heard.
Do listen
The single most useful thing that you can do to inform your brand, marketing and business development efforts is to invest in listening, really listening, to outside voices.
Try it. Test your assumptions. You’ll be amazed at the value you get back: real gems of wisdom and insight that are marketing and business strategy gold!
Read more on listening:
The Book of Beautiful Questions, by Warren Berger
How to Listen, Thich Nhat Hanh (I love this book)
Why successful firms invest in client research – read Hinge Marketing’s 2024 High Growth Survey
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey (especially Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood) Stephen talks about empathetic listening as a vital leadership and collaboration skill.
What makes listening so difficult and what we can do about it – article by Bobby Powers