Listen if you want to be heard

listeningpositioning
Written By Sonja Nisson

How do we make sure what we say actually connects – with clients, audiences, or even our teams?

The key lies in genuine listening. When we actively seek and value feedback, we align our communication with the real needs, language, and perspectives of the people we want to reach.

How I woke up to the power of listening

My mum, Caroline, was a psychotherapist with an extraordinary ability to listen, with empathy and full attention. She undoubtedly saved lives and transformed many others. With the quality of her listening in mind, it’s no wonder she was so good at what she did. She always knew how to ask the right questions and tuned in with total focus and compassion. She made people feel respected. She made them feel good about themselves. She got to the heart of the issue. And she made us, her children, feel understood.

That’s an incredible legacy.

It’s also a rare skill in the business world. I was lucky: early in my career, change expert Jane Northcote opened my eyes to the value and power of listening. We both worked for a niche management consultancy: me as a business development lead; Jane as a strategic consultant. We were tasked with sharpening up the brand positioning.

“Start with what works now,” said Jane. “Let’s ask clients.” So we did.

The outcome of this first listening project was transformational. The feedback showed us exactly what people appreciated, where the real opportunity lay for the business, and gave us clearer, more resonant language to describe what we did. The direction and message for the consultancy became clear.

“To act with awareness you have to be connected. You have to be there, with people. Don’t just listen, hear; don’t just watch, see. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Let the answers have an effect.”
— Jane Northcote, Making Change Happen

Jane’s insightful guidance showed me the profound impact of listening in a business context. Since then, incorporating client and stakeholder feedback has become a cornerstone of my work.

The value of listening in business

Listening is an undervalued act in business, but it offers priceless returns. It's not just a soft skill. It’s a strategic advantage. When we listen with intention, we unlock understanding, clarity, connection, customer focus, and alignment – the fundamentals of effective, meaningful work.

  • Understanding: Deep listening helps us grasp the real needs, concerns, and motivations of clients, teams, and audiences. It moves us beyond assumptions and into insight.

  • Clarity: Honest feedback gives us a clearer picture of how we’re perceived: what’s working, what’s not, and where we can sharpen our message, strategy, or approach.

  • Connection: Listening builds trust. It creates space for others to feel heard, seen, and valued, laying the foundation for more human relationships in business.

  • Actionable insight: Listening brings you closer to your clients / customers and your internal teams. It keeps you grounded in what matters most, helps align around shared goals, and lets you move with clarity and purpose.

At the heart of this is active empathy: the ability to listen not just to respond, but to understand and to act accordingly. It's about being fully present, curious, and open to what’s being said (and sometimes what isn’t). This kind of listening allows us to respond more thoughtfully, lead more effectively, and create more resonant solutions.

In short: if we want to create work that lands, we need to start by listening.

This listening–client feedback process has long been central to my approach. Whether I’m helping a client set direction, uncover their story, or shape valuable content, outside feedback is the lynchpin that holds everything together. Again and again, it’s been the insight from clients and customers that has sparked the best ideas.

Too often, marketers and strategists go into a huddle in a boardroom to decide what to do next. But that kind of thinking tends to be internally focused, based on assumption, not evidence. If you want a 360° view, get out there. Ask good questions. And listen really hard.

Where and when to listen

Here’s where I’ve found listening to be truly invaluable:

For brand strategy

What’s your true value? Why do people choose you? Talking to a range of your customers or stakeholders about why, how, and where they use your services can help you get your offer and positioning straight.

For story

How do you tell the story of what you do? What’s your business purpose? That might feel like it has to come from you, but if it’s not grounded in your clients’ / customer’s world, it won’t resonate. Self-absorbed stories don’t win any fans. Listen to the challenges your customers are facing, and weave those into your narrative so it feels relevant and real.

“Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room.”
— Jeff Bezos

Your story is already out there. Ask your customers and advocates what they say when recommending you to others. You’ll be amazed at what you hear. People on the outside often describe your value better than you can.

For language and tone of voice

Tone of voice can feel slippery, but it shapes how your brand is perceived. So how do you choose the right words for your email or homepage? Again: listen.

Good, clear language is essential, but to truly connect, use their words. Avoid jargon, ditch internal-speak, and reflect how your audience talks. Record conversations, spot patterns, mirror their metaphors. That kind of insight? Marketing gold dust.

For service and product design

Too many services are built on assumption. Listening and research ensure that what you’re creating actually solves real problems. Disciplines like UX and content design are grounded in deep listening and observation, and without that, businesses risk poor design, wasted effort, and missed opportunities.

For content and marketing ideas

The best content ideas come from your audience. What do they want to know? What questions are they asking? Listening closely will give you blog, video, and podcast ideas for the rest of the year and beyond.

To support change

Business never stands still. Listening supports strategic change. Build listening into your rhythm and you’ll stay ahead of evolving needs, both inside and outside the organisation. Ask deeper questions than just “How are we doing?” Try: “What are the biggest challenges in your world?”

Listening de-risks change. It gives you the evidence you need to shift direction with confidence, not guesswork.

For alignment

Listening internally helps uncover good ideas and brings people on the journey. When people feel heard, they’re far more likely to engage with change.

(Read: Engagement - the secret to any successful rebrand)

For humanity

Imagine how the world would change if we listened, truly listened, to each other more.

“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.”
— Carl R. Rogers

Feel the fear and listen anyway

And yet, despite all the value listening brings, many people hesitate.

Reaching out for feedback can feel exposing. You won’t be alone if you feel that. But I’d encourage you to be bold. Feel the fear and do it anyway. This kind of listening is a gift, and often a much-needed boost for everyone involved.

I’ve led this process for businesses and not-for-profits, big and small. The feedback they receive is consistently constructive and insightful. Those who act on it strengthen relationships, improve their work, and gain clarity and confidence.

How to listen – my process

I’ve honed a simple customer feedback process over the years. Here's the nutshell version:

  • Choose your interviewees: Start with a range of your best clients or contacts. For a small business refining its story, 5–10 interviews is plenty. For a large organisation, aim for 15–30 across diverse stakeholders.

  • Ask open-ended questions: Make them broader than “How are we doing?” You’re listening to understand their world and how they see your value.

  • Decide who will conduct the interviews: You can do them yourself, but often it’s easier and more insightful for someone outside your business to do the asking and the analysis.

  • Book in the time: Set up a call via email. Be clear about what you're doing and why.

  • Ask great questions and listen hard: There’s an art to this. (See tips below.)

  • Record and transcribe: Always get permission first, but record the call and capture the exact words. This is far more valuable than any guesswork about your audience.

What to do with what you hear

The insights you gather can shape everything from your strategic direction to your messaging and marketing plan.

Look for patterns. What does this tell you about the value your organisation delivers? How do others describe what you do? Where’s the sweet spot?

How to listen well

“Listening is a powerful act: you have to put yourself out to do it.”

— David Hockney

Why is listening so hard? One reason is biology. Our brains process information much faster than people speak. Most of us talk at around 150 words per minute, but we can listen at 275 wpm, and think at a staggering 2,000 wpm. That mental gap often leads to distraction or impatience. We drift off, we plan our reply, we miss the moment.

Add modern distractions and dopamine-driven habits, and it’s no wonder deep listening feels rare.

“When we let go of our opinions and views, when we create space, then what others say can truly penetrate. So please empty yourself when you listen. That’s the art of deep listening.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Real listening means setting aside judgment, quieting your own thoughts, and giving your full attention.

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
— Stephen R. Covey

Practice listening without planning a response. Notice your internal reactions and let them pass. Be present. Breathe. Create space.

“Real communication can only take place where there is silence.”
— Krishnamurti

Some listening watchouts

  • Don’t shift the focus onto yourself: stay with the speaker.

  • Be aware of why you might interrupt: excitement, ego, wanting to help. Even good intentions can derail a moment.

  • Use your whole body to show you’re listening. Yes, even on Zoom.

  • Never multitask. If you want people to feel truly heard, give them your full attention.

I love this clip from The Office: teaching Dwight active listening

Do listen

The single most useful thing you can do to inform your brand, marketing, and business strategy is to listen, really listen, to outside voices.

Try it. Test your assumptions. You’ll be amazed at what you get back. The insight you gain will fuel your brand, strategy, and story in ways no brainstorm ever could.

Further reading:

Sonja Nisson
Next

How to find your voice and build a valuable newsletter: Kerry Harrison’s story